Ok, I'm not really giving relationship tips. I've seen vids on youtube about people attempting to give tips, and there are general advices that can be good, things like try not to seem desperate, know when to give your partner some space, learn to let go when it's needed, or try to show your appreciation for the things you love, etc etc. I'm not going to advise any of that. I believe that every person has his own individual case, and some things may be better for some but worse for others. To give real tips you need to accompany the case more closely.
But I do have one tip. Well, maybe not a tip but more like a philosophy.
If you want a lasting, strong and true relationship, there is one thing that is completely fundamental.
The most important thing in a relationship is... honesty.
And honesty can be evaluated in many different levels. The first one is... honesty with yourself.
If you aren't sure of your feelings, your relationship is kind of doomed. You need to know your feelings first. Your partner will notice you're having second thoughts if you're always looking indecisive.
The thing is, sometimes people just can't tell if they ARE in love, or WANT to be in love. Telling which one is the case can actually be pretty hard. When you want to be in love, you still feel euphoric when you are spending time with your partner, cuddling in the sheets, watching a movie, spending time with him/her, you feel really good about yourself. But that's because you just like the idea of having someone to share these moments, and I wouldn't blame you for that, but don't feel surprised when the enchantment just fades suddenly. It's different than being in love, because then you wouldn't want to trade that person with anyone else.
Besides being honest with yourself, next comes, obviously, being honest with your partner. To me if you are not honest with your partner, it kind of misses the point of being in a relationship. What's the point if you can't be yourself and be loved for who you are?
If you are not being yourself, and always honest, it's probably one of two reasons: insecurity or you just don't give a shit. If it's the latter, you better realise that you can be wasting your partners time and devotion, which can be immensily painful for him/her if prolongued. If you're just insecure about being honest, that can be worked on and improved. Eventually you have to take leaps of faith. If you're not being accepted, he/she just might not be the one for you.
Does anyone have any stories to share with me?
No comments:
Post a Comment